Got Spit?

This post is gross. Unless you're 6 years old. Then, it's educational and ingenious.

"I'm firsty!"

Christ. Kaila still can't pronounce her th's. It's painfully evident every time she asks me my age.

"You're firty nine?"

"No. Thirty nine."

"Yeah, FIRTY NINE! You are OLD."

Exhausted, I now just round up to 40.

"MAMA! I'm FIRSTY!"

"Thirsty?"

"Yeah, do you have any water?"

We were cruising down I-75 doing 75mph. I scanned the floor of the car. There was usually at least one half-empty water bottle sloshing around. I always worried that I'd give a Doobie a really old bottle. But, Mike insists that water doesn't go bad. And, he's got an MBA so he must be really smart. After all, it's not like he'd ever glued his fingers together with super glue, right? Oh wait. I craned my neck to see if any bottles were behind me. A move that guaranteed either an accident, whiplash or both. Our car had become the Sahara. Kaila was parched and becoming pissy.

"We'll be at the Science Center in 10 minutes. I'll get you something there."

"Grmasdfkljdfs." Kaila uttered something unintelligible. Most likely, "If you were a better mom who loved her kids, you'd have water. Instead, we're stuck here dehydrating in our crusty carseats, biatch!"

Suddenly, a gentle voice of reason spoke up. "Kaila, whenever I get thristy, I just spit up a little into my mouth and swallow it."

SCREEEEEEEEEEECH. I nearly veered off the highway.

"Madan, YOU WHAAAAT? You do NOT."

"Sure! What's wrong with that? It's really good. I just make spit bubbles in my mouth and then swallow them. It's fine, really, and works out great. Kaila, try it!"

The Doobies were now simultaneously blowing spit bubbles in an effort to make 8 ounces of some type of refreshing, uh, something while I drove, repulsed and wondering how often my son sat quietly in the backseat making his salivary glands work overtime.

Luckily, this act of indecency kept the Doobies busy long enough for me to get them to the Science Center and find a water fountain. But it was pointless. They were no longer firsty.