Today, we had an air quality alert. We never had those in Chagrin Falls. Intrigued, we clicked on. After reading it, we laughed our asses off. Not because we think global warming is hysterical. There's nothing funny about Mother Earth experiencing hot flashes. Do you know how pissy menopausal mamas get? We laughed because of the suggestions provided by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources and Environment.
Issued by The National Weather Service
Detroit, MI 10:05 pm EDT, Mon., Aug. 30, 2010
... AIR QUALITY ALERT FOR TUESDAY AUGUST 31ST...
THE MICHIGAN DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES AND ENVIRONMENT HAS DECLARED TUESDAY... AUGUST 31ST... TO BE AN ACTION DAY FOR ELEVATED LEVELS OF OZONE. POLLUTANTS ARE EXPECTED TO BE IN THE UNHEALTHY FOR SENSITIVE GROUPS RANGE.
PEOPLE AND BUSINESSES ARE URGED TO AVOID ACTIVITIES WHICH LEAD TO OZONE FORMATION. THESE ACTIVITIES INCLUDE... REFUELING VEHICLES OR TOPPING OFF WHEN REFUELING... (Really? Top off when refueling? It's not a cup of coffee, people.) USING GASOLINE POWERED LAWN EQUIPMENT... (Whew! This would be on my to-do list, um, never.) AND USING CHARCOAL LIGHTER FLUID. (Wow. So specific! Okay, I'll postpone my tailgating plans.) POSITIVE ACTIVITIES INCLUDE... CAR POOLING... (Carpooling is tough when you have no friends.) BIKING TO WORK... (Work? Don't make this lady of leisure laugh.) DELAYING OR COMBINING ERRANDS (Alas! Delay a trip to Target? Nooooooo!) AND USING WATER BASED PAINTS. (Um, WTF? I was all set to comply with the reccos, but now I have to gas up the car, go to Target and buy some paint.)
2 comments:
combining errands ... that one made me laugh out loud!
Right. Who doesn't combine errands? Yes, I like to run one errand and then drive home, drop off my purchases and then drive back out for my second errand, then drive home and so on. Morons! :)
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