The Shower Series: Part II

Okay, peeps. We've been through this before. But, I always feel like, somebody's watching me. And I have no privacy. Due to the ridiculousness of how often my showers are interrupted, I need to do another post. Or, I need to put locks on the bathroom door. When will I learn?

First off, the cleaning lady of the Morris crib c'est moi. So, I keep house whenever and however I can. That includes washing whites with colors (I believe in integration), eating lunch while vacuuming (a break-even proposition) and scrubbing the shower while taking a shower (TMI -- gasp!). Some people might give me a tsk-tsk for the last one -- or find the practice bizarre. I, however, find it highly efficient. And, if you say you've never done it, you're lying. Or, you have a cleaning lady. And, she's probably scrubbing in the buff while you're out lunching with friends or shagging the tennis pro. So, there.

I gathered up my Tilex and toothbrushes, stepped inside the phone booth of a shower and got to work. Two minutes later, no shiz, the bathroom door opens. I looked through the fogged up glass to see who the hell dared violate my privacy. To my surprise, it was a tall, handsome figure able to speak full sentences.

"Do you want me to make lunch for the kids?"

"Um. That would be great. I'm KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW." I struck a pose, holding the Tilex in one hand, his toothbrush in the other. I will spare you the details of what was inbetween.

"You're too busy to make them lunch?!?!"

Everyone's a f'ing comedian in this house. I briefly considered blasting Mike with Tilex and scrubbing that smug look off his face.

"Yeah. I'm busy trying to KILL MYSELF by inhaling noxious fumes in an extremely small space." To further punctuate my point, I bent over and resumed scrubbing. (To my parents, mother-in-law, relatives, friends, Romans, countrymen and kids who read this blog, feel free to smack your forehead and collectively groan, "EWWWWWW GROSS!" I second that statement and move to strike Yo Mama from ever posting again.)

Mike promptly turned away and left. It's a good thing my husband loves me and loves clean bathrooms. Otherwise, he would have been totally grossed out instead of (hopefully) weirdly turned on.

To read Part I: "Screw Calgon, I want the Funny Farm to Take Me Away, click here."