"I'm not going to have a baby when I grow up."
It was 8am. Madan was brushing his teeth. And, this is what came out of his foamy mouth. Baby talk.
"Why?"
"Too much work."
Damn straight.
"Besides. I can't have a baby anyway."
"Why not?" I was curious to see if he actually knew.
"I'M A BOY!"
For a brief moment, I considered digging through my People archives and showing him "The Pregnant Man." I decided against it. I didn't want to send him to school in tears and explain to his teachers.
"Kaila, you shouldn't have a ..."
"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" I cut Madan off mid-sentence. It's one thing for him to be anti-baby, but I didn't want him to influence his sister. I want to be a Nani some day. Otherwise, how can I exact revenge upon my own kids? Madan was about to ruin it for me. My dreams of smugly saying, "That's how YOU were when YOU were a child" were getting squashed. I quickly scooted Kaila to her room to get dressed for school and turned to Madan.
"Madan. If Dad and I didn't have babies, you and Kaila wouldn't be here."
He briefly considered the gravity of my statement.
"Fine. I'll have a baby and then I'll move out."
5 comments:
Very funny! I also can't wait to get revenge on my kids. I tell them all the time that I can't wait to come to their houses for dinner, burst into tears when they tell me what they've spent hours cooking, and then immediately start issuing demands about what and how much I'm willing to eat.
Exactly! And, don't forget to demand dessert (ice cream WITH sprinkles) even though you haven't touched a thing on your plate. :)
That whole 'revenge' thing is quite true. Nothing gives my parents more unbridled joy than the secure knowledge that I have kids that as much of a pain in the ass to me as I was to them. And it's also caused me to periodically call up my dad and thank him for not killing me during my youth...
Yup, he's definitely a catch!
He takes after his mama. ;}
Everyone -- Lock up your daughters!
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