Since Kaila cut teeth and started forming opinions, I've been trying to figure out what she likes for lunch -- aside from the predictable crap like Sponge Bob Mac & Cheese and Bagel Bites. Unlike her brother's daily hankering for PB&J, Kaila's palette is more discriminating. She's not content with the same sammy every day. And, I've grown bored trying to figure out the perfect food for her. Kaila's taste buddies are no friends of mine.
Last week, Kaila and I had a taste test. The kitchen was transformed into a food lab. I laid out lunchmeat, fresh wraps and a long line of condiments and instructed Kaila, in my best Muppets' Swedish Chef voice ("Börk Börk Börk!"), to sample each one until we found the right culinary combination. When I ran out of ideas, I asked myself, what would Martha Stewart do and then promptly did the exact opposite. Who the hell has time to accessorize a sandwich? I sought answers from Facebook friends. Still, no success. She wrinkled her little nose at every suggestion.
Mustard. Cream cheese. Hummus. Ketchup. Jelly. Ranch. Russian. Honey. Chutney. Butter. Guacamole. Holy hell, the list goes on and on. So, imagine how thrilled I was the other day when we had a major discovery. It was just like Jed striking some crude or Sir Isaac getting nailed by an apple. Dumb luck fell upon our kitchen and I had an epiphany. It was a parenting find of epic proportions.
While eating our way through Papa Joe's sampling stations, Kaila happened upon a bag of Veggie Sticks. We bought the bags and ambled home. Kaila wanted them with lunch. I plopped a plate of rolled-up turkey in front of my girl with some sticks on the side. She looked at me like I was retarded, promptly unfurled the turkey, stuck her sticks in it, re-rolled it up and happily chomped away. Aha! My girl doesn't dig condiments. She's all about the crunch. From now on, if she doesn't like what I serve up for lunch, I'll simply tell her to stick it.
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