Take your passion and make it happen

I've been dying to launch my own business for years, but lacked conviction. I finally grew a set and started mapping out a plan, but my progress has been hindered by a barrage of emails showcasing the newest million-dollar ideas to hit the market. The traffic's bad in Detroit. I suspect Mike's been getting a good dose of Howard Stern in the mornings evidenced by the links he emails me each evening.

Yesterday, it was Fresh Balls. This has to be a joke, I thought. No. Evidently, the joke is on all the men who don't get this product and take care of their boys. Today, he sent more links. There are two competing products in the market whose aim is to conceal camel toe. I am so upset that I didn't think of this first. The problem has been staring me in the face for years. In fact, one incident impacted me so much that I remember all the tawdry details to this very day.

Mike and I visited Madrid during our honeymoon. One evening, we were relaxing in the Plaza Mayor, soaking in the beautiful edifices of the buildings, the interesting alcoves and awesome arches. Suddenly, our eyes rested on a site like no other. There, teetering in stilettos, across the grand square, was a woman. Her make-up would have made Tammy Faye Baker go running to touch up her mascara. But, that wasn't what caught our attention. She was wearing leggings and a top. And, they weren't paired together like Jennifer Beals' get up in Flashdance. You know, the black leggings coupled with a grey sweatshirt long enough to leave something to the imagination. Her shirt was as short as her heels were high. And, as a result, we bore witness to ... camel toe. Oh no. I'm not talking about every day frontal wedgie camel toe. This was the biggest, longest, wedgiest vajayjay cleavage I had ever seen. It was a train wreck. I couldn't avert my eyes. I think Mike went scrambling through his backpack for a camera. In fact, I'm sure of it. This is the guy who took a picture of a girl who soiled herself at Jazz Fest. Nothing's sacred. No wonder I'm such a light sleeper.

I wish I had that Spanish woman's name. I'd love for her to test the mettle of Camelammo and Camelflage. If they can help her, they'll mint millions. Que lindo!