The hills are alive with the sound of lunatics.

If you liked The Sound of Music -- a never-ending musical drama -- you must have loved my 8,000-page post about Kaila's recent head exam -- a long-winded mama trauma.

Remember?

It's the one where I droned on and on and on, giving you pathetic minute-by-minute updates on the three longest days of my entire life. (Not counting Shadow Woodstock or Lollapalooza, of course.) I should have Twittered instead of blogged. But, it's hard to Twitter from the basement of the Cleveland Clinic. The reception from the abyss is horrible. Plus, all the cancer patients look at you kind of funny when your little girl is waiting for an MRI and you're thumbs-on with the Blackberry instead of cuddling her. In retrospect, I should have Twittered the experience and explained to any onlookers that it was my head they intended to examine. That would have been a more plausible story.

So, this time, I'll keep my post about Kaila's dome short and sweet. In fact, I'll let my favorite cartoon character do the talking. Just pretend Kaila is Elmer Fudd.



In other words, Kaila is fine. All tests were negative. She's just a screwball -- temporarily.

When I shared the news with my Mom, here's the reply I got. Verbatim. She types like she speaks. Please read with an Indian accent.

"Very happy to know that everything is ok with Kaila.Do you think she might have inherited screw loose condition from her Mom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we should definately check that out ..............."

But Mom, if it's genetic, shouldn't we get your head examined, too?

Oooh. I am soooooooooooo grounded now.

(For anyone wondering what the hell this is about, here's my PSA. Kaila had a virus and then lost some ability to coordinate muscular movement. She walked like a pinball and her hands shook while doing everyday activities like eating or brushing her teeth. She also lost her lunch a few times from being dizzy. After a thorough examination, the pediatrician sent us to a neurologist to make sure the prognosis was what we hoped for -- post-infectious cerebellitis -- or a temporary loss of balance and coordination caused by the virus. But, to be sure it was nothing worse, a battery of tests ensued. Luckily, everything was negative and she's just suffering from some temporarily loose screws. They'll re-tighten over time.)