Dressed to Decompress

For some reason, I’m on the email distribution list of an online designer boutique. I’m too lazy to unsubscribe. Or, perhaps getting contacted by a company promising en vogue apparel at sample-sale prices makes me feel like hipness is attainable despite my closet full of faded jeans and flannel shirts?

A recent email promised “Day to Night – The Dresses That Take You There.” And, I thought, “Wow! If I had an active social life, this would be perfect.” But my days of NYC-living and going straight from cubicle to club are over. I no longer teeter around in heels and haute couture. Instead, I totter in sensible footwear complemented by stretchy leggings and long cotton shirts, accessorized with an elastic hair band around my wrist.

You see, when I dress in the morning, it’s sheer strategy. I think to myself, what can I wear now and wear to bed later? By limiting time spent in wardrobe every night, I can achieve slumber faster and eke out a few more minutes of elusive shut eye. That’s why I love pairing yoga pants with a tank top. People think I’ve just worked out when, in reality, I simply showered and put pajamas on. Talk about forward thinking!

So, it’s not day-to-night transition wear I’m after. A successful shopping sojourn would yield morning-to-morning ensembles with style and staying power. For example, what about a smart pantsuit that says “take me seriously” at PTA meetings by day, but seamlessly zips off into “tuck me into bed” shortie pjs at night? Or, consider a wrap-around dress that unravels into a slip nightgown with the tug of a belt? I’d pay a lot more than 40 bucks for anything that will get me to 40 winks faster.

Please, clothing companies, if you debut it, I will buy it. And, if you fashion it out of flannel, you’ll become the line of my dreams.