Oh, the nerves!

I stood on the precipice and looked down at the water crashing against the rocks below me. If it wasn't for sobriety, I would have jumped. In the past, I had jumped. In the past, when stared in the face by a challenge, I would give it the middle finger and leap. No hesitation. But, this time was different. This time, I was older. I was overthinking it. And, older and overthinking sucks. Suddenly, a nine-year old saddled up beside me. He surveyed the waterfall jump before us and my impending death.

"You can do it!" he urged.

"I can, but I don't want to." I replied. "Look at all those rocks below! How do I know I'll clear them?"

"You will. Don't think about it!" the kid said.

"No one else has died today doing it." offered Mike. Fucking realist.

"Yeah, but there's always one unlucky bastard who's the anomaly!" I cried. I felt like saying, "I have a husband, two kids -- family who needed me to make meals and do laundry. How could I put my selfish needs -- jumping off a waterfall to prove I'm still brave and crazy -- ahead of theirs?"

Meanwhile, a crowd of Ticans seated on the rocks below started cheering me on. Shit, now I had an audience of locals who think I'm a namsy pansy. Normally, I would have loved the attention. Not now. Not in a moment of weakness. I had surveyed the jump too long.

The nine-year old stood there, waiting for me to change my mind. He then offered up some words to live by.

"Do it for the story." And then, as if to prove his point, he jumped.

I looked at Mike and laughed. The kid had a great point. Wouldn't it have made a great story to say we hiked to the Montezuma waterfalls and jumped off? Wouldn't my 40-year-old friends be so impressed when I recounted my incredible tale of bravery during playdates like a nine-year-old would to his friends on the playground?

"So, in Costa Rica we hiked up this super steep waterfall and then I ran and jumped. I was so nervous, but I'm glad I did it because now I have a great story. It was soooooo coool!"

"Oh, you are one brave cougar. SUSIE GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE! TOMMY - GIVE BACK BOBBY'S TOY OR WE ARE LEAVING!!! Sorry, what were you saying again? Oh yeah, sounds like a very nice trip. Do you mind if I feed the kids some Goldfish S'mores? I think they're getting hungry."

I looked down at the water crashing against the rocks below me and the Ticans cheering for me. Then, I did something which for me, took more courage then jumping. I turned and walked away.

I may not have that story, but my book's still far from finished.


Waterfall in Montezuma, Costa Rica.
The jump doesn't look so intimidating when it's a
shrunken down picture.


Ziplining in Mal Pais. Crazy hasn't left this mama yet.