Presents? I don't need no stinkin' presents.

"Mama?"

I love when Kaila calls me that. It makes me feel like Mabel Thomas from What's Happening. You know, large and in charge.

I wanted to answer, "Yes, child?" But, instead I said, "Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

When Kaila tells me "something" it's usually a wonderfully salacious preschool morsel which further supports my run for mom of the year -- or the fact that I'm simply not the shittiest mom of the year. Her tidbits usually include the likes of "Julie's mom forgot to pack her a lunch. David's mom was late dropping him off...again. So and so's Dad forgot her jacket." And, I try to take the high road by responding, "Oh, there must be a good reason for that." or "We all make mistakes." Even though I want to say, "I would NEVER do that. Aren't I the best mom in the world? You should thank your lucky stars that the stork dropped you here. Even if it was a mistake."

"Please tell me something, Kaila."

"Madan STILL hasn't gotten you a Mother's Day gift."

Oh, snap. Girlfriend just sold a brother out. That wasn't cool.

The Middle flashed in my mind. You know, ABC's show promising to expose the hoax that is Mother's Day? I envisioned Mike and Madan hitting CVS Saturday night and buying a half-broken Easter basket and filling it with condoms, Zicam, a rectal thermometer and batteries plus a sympathy card since that's all that would be left.

I bit my tongue. "I'm sure he's got something planned, Kaila." Driving this high road really stinks, I thought.

"But, Mama..."

"No, Kaila. It's okay. I don't need anything anyway. Really!"

Sure I love gifts and surprises. But, Mother's Day is like Valentine's Day to me -- just another Hallmark holiday where we're told who to appreciate and why. And, just like my kids, I despise being told what to do and when to do it. If you love someone, tell them and tell them whenever you feel like it. I don't need Hallmark to nudge my husband to force the kids to be thankful for me one Sunday each year.

"Well, my present for you is already done."

That Kaila. She's such a kiss ass and one smart cookie. But, here's what my little girl doesn't know. With the exception of when she was three years old and I begged Mike to somehow give her back, she's been one of the the best gifts a mama could ask for. (I have to say one of the best gifts b/c I have another child who is also a best gift.)

Little does Kaila know, but her presence is present enough. I love having a little buddy to pal around with. And, since we've moved, she's been my saviour, injecting fun into the most mundane tasks. We go grocery shopping at Papa Joe's, admire the prepared foods and eat our way through the store. We hit Target and laugh at all the strange stuff in the $1 bins. At a furniture store, we tested out couches, looked at swatches and she never complained. In fact, after getting the car washed and the windshield repaired, she proclaimed it the funnest of days. And, when we are stuck at home with nothing to do, my girl adores chores. She folds laundry, empties the dishwasher and even helps pluck cilantro leaves for dinner. She's sat through lengthy PTA meetings, meetings with new mom friends and even a newcomer's meeting where the entire room was filled with women speaking German. (Don't ask.) And, it was all done without a whine, without a peep.

So, Kaila, thank you for being so considerate and for having my Mother's Day gift in waiting. But, what you give me every day is something money can't buy. Unconditional love. Unwavering friendship. Unbridled comic relief. You're my awesome little BFF who makes the days fun. I wish I could box up your zest for everything and keep it forever. Especially because those teenage years are going to be a bitch.