Madan's Kindergarten homework assignment had us counting cars. Up and down the sidewalk we went tallying red cars, blue cars, black cars, silver cars. He guessed silver would be the most popular*. Now we had to prove it. We decided to walk to the end of our street where there'd be more action. Cars zoomed to the left. Cars zoomed to the right. Our heads turned as if we were watching a high-speed tennis volley. Madan was tallying so fast that his paper caught on fire.
Then we noticed it. A minivan had stopped in the middle of the side-street. At first, I thought nothing of it. Since when does a minivan turn heads? Then, as we walked by it, a window rolled down. No wonder the van sat in the street so long, some mama must be lost, I thought.
"Excuse me!" chirped the curly-haired spectacled woman from the unassuming minivan.
"Yes?" I replied in my best "of course I'll help you, we live in the midwest" voice.
"Please take this. It's so important!" she implored, extending two pamphlets to me.
I immediately recognized the long-haired dude on the cover who had really great lighting. Oh no. No no no. No, you didn't, honey.
"It's soooooooooooooo important!" she pleaded, nodding in my son's direction.
I handed the pamphlets back. "No thank you. We're of a different persuasion." I stated.
Different persuasion? What the hell did that mean? Did I just tell her I was a lesbian? For someone generally quick-witted, what a dimwit response. I should have told her my parents were Hindu and Hindus, by the way, have way too many Gods, would she consider taking some off our hands? My moment was gone. So, I quickly grabbed Madan's hand and we speed-walked all the way home and never looked back. I'm sure the woman was praying for our souls.
"Who was that woman, Mom?"
"Jesus Freak." I've decided not to censor myself. When the topic of religion comes up in our house, I level with the kids. I straight-up tell them I do not believe, but they're welcome to do as they wish. If either of my kids wants to go to a church, temple, mosque, whatever, fine with me. Just practice skewed quid pro quo. Don't push your beliefs onto me and I won't push mine onto you. Capice?
But, minivan crusader wasn't playing by my rules. She pushed so I pulled back. Now I was mad. I stormed into the house.
"We were accosted by a minivan crusader."
"Oh?" said Mike.
"She was trying convert us."
"YEAH. WE'RE NOT GOD-ISH!" yells Madan.
Whoops. The boy really does pay attention when I talk. But, I do need to make a point here. And, this point is just for my family. I am not judging others and their beliefs which, if correct, mean I will go to a very hot place -- or get reincarnated as a turd. Minivan mama stressed the importance of religion in Madan's life. And, I'm calling bullshit. I'm sure she could make a good case for it, but it wouldn't have made any difference in the world. I'm not changing. And, based on my son's God-ish comment, he's probably not eager to change either. If I could have had that moment back, this is what I'd like to tell minivan crusader.
Thank you for the enlightenment, but my guy's spiritual and moral compass is pointing in the right direction. He shows compassion and is courteous. He understands responsibility and exerts self-control. He is ethical, honest and respectful towards people, property and even the environment. He is helpful, impartial and accepting. He is sensitive, confident, full of life and love. Above all, he is happy. All of this, he's absorbed from his parents, his family, his teachers, his friends or has figured out by himself.
He doesn't need politics, rules, canons or vedas to be a better, fulfilled person. And, if he's like me, he won't be looking for salvation. Through a strong foundation, great direction and lots of loving support, my son has been given what's important.
To the minivan crusader, I say, "This family is on the right path."
*Black. Black is the most popular color for a car. If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, scroll back up and read the very first paragraph.
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