Wolf bites mom.

My little girl has turned into an on-demand cry-baby. She blubbers over burnt toast. She tears up over not getting a toy. She whimpers when Madan won't listen to her. My baby sings the blues so much that I can no longer distinguish fact from fiction. As a result, I assume everything is a total fallacy. So, unless she's running towards me, screaming, holding a limb that should be attached or has a meat cleaver sticking out of a place it shouldn't be, I'm gonna assume she's simply preachin' some four-year-old blues, which, to an almost-40-year old gray-haired saggy sweat-pant wearin' mama, ain't the for-real blues. If you want some true blues, look at my face at six in the morning or six at night. Now that is someone who is really down on her luck.

Kaila's hit song started up again this morning as we were getting ready to leave for the bus stop. Madan was ready. I was ready. B.B. King was not. She was pullin' her bootstraps, bawling that her furry little Northfaces weren't goin' on the right way. I debated letting her walk to the bus stop barefoot, but thought that might not look so good. So, I decided to tell her a story about a little shepherd boy who cried wolf. Of course, I changed the ending. You need a dramatic finish with a four year old for anything to make an impact.

"Kaila, I'm done with this. You cry so much that half the time it's impossible to tell whether it's real or fake. I need to tell you an important story."

"What." she said deadpanned through pursed lips on a pissy frowny face.

"There was once a little boy who took care of sheep. Every day he would cry 'WOLF!' even though there was no wolf. He thought it was fun to get people to run to his aid. He'd cry wolf so much that the town couldn't tell if he meant it or not. Then, one day, a real wolf came. Do you know what happened?"

"blechgrrgle." she muttered which I took to mean "hell if I care." or "screw you, hag!". Either way, I continued. That's what I do.

"The wolf ate him. FOR. REAL. That's what happens when you cry for no reason. People stop believing you and wolves eat you. Do you want to end up that way?"

Kaila was now staring at me in horror. Luckily, Madan was already outside. He would have totally called bullshit on me and I had no use for that right now. I knew half of what I said made no sense, but I didn't care. Desperate times. Desperate measures. Her boots were on. We were headed to the bus stop. But now, my little girl was afraid to cry wolf. Perfect. Except for this headline which danced in my head. "Mom eaten by wolf while walking kids to bus stop."