Friendships: skin deep or soul-full?

Yesterday was MLK, Jr. Day. I had grand visions of taking the kids to the Museum of African-American History, participating in awesome activities and leaving enriched. But then, reality struck. I quickly realized my kids weren't old enough to appreciate the importance of the day and nothing would make a lasting impression -- unless it was presented via Wii or Nintendo DS.

"Why do we have to go to a museum? That's soooo borrrring. Can't we go to Marvin's Mechanical Museum instead? That's a museum."

"That's not a museum. It's an arcade masquerading as a museum. We are not spending today playing video games."

"Well, can't we do something else? What about miniature golf?"

I stood there, staring at my son. How do you reason with a kid who wants to go miniature golfing to celebrate MLK day in the dead of Winter? It's like arguing with a mental patient. I so desperately wanted to celebrate the day, the man, the message. Instead, I gave in. They couldn't handle the truth and I didn't want them whining about how boring Martin Luther King, Jr. was in the middle of the Museum of African-American History. Could you imagine that? King had a dream, but me, I only had nightmares. Two of 'em. Once the Doobies mature a little, I plan to spend the holiday as it was intended: Reflecting on an incredible individual who inspired so many and celebrate King's life with service.

But, this year we went bowling. Fer real. Holy hell.

As I was driving to the lanes, ignoring my kids, my mind started wandering. King wanted to see a day when his kids would be judged by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin. A beautiful idea. I'm color-blind when it comes to meeting people and forming friendships. I've never turned anyone away because of race and never will.

But, then my mind really took a turn.

Even though I see through color, am I still short-sighted when it comes to outward appearances and other superficial or materialistic things? For example: Do I still judge people by how they dress? Their hairstyle? What they wear? Who they hang out with?

I've moved five times in the past 15 years. Each time, I'm challenged to make new friends. In general, I start from scratch, knowing close to no one. When I meet people, I try to see past their looks and get a glimpse of what lies within. But, I'm far from perfect. Awhile back, I remember telling Mike about a new friend, adding this caveat, "You'll be surprised when you meet her. She's awesome, a great person, but not someone who you'd expect me to hang out with."

Wow. How freakin' presumptuous and uppity. "Not who you'd expect me to hang out with?" After uttering those words, I realized how shallow I'd become. Who was I to judge someone on outward appearances? I'm certainly in no position to evaluate looks. My nose looks like it was broken, my eyebrows rival Andy Rooney's and my teeth are more crooked than Madoff. I'm incredibly lucky that my friends looked beyond my looks. Otherwise, I'd be sitting at my kitchen table, blogging day after day, all alone. Wait a minute...

I reflected on my hideous comment yesterday and made a decision. It's time to leave high school. Gone are the days of caring who wears what, who hangs with whom and how "cool" someone is. What matters most is the content of their character. Are they a good person? Do they have a strong mind, a caring heart? Friendships shouldn't be skin deep. They should be soul-full.

Madan's school is introducing character education into its curriculum and I can't wait. I could sure use the lesson.