Home Alone.

Right now, I suspect two plush Gund lambs and one Carter's John Lennon baby blanket are fending off two idiotic burglars at the Morris crib. You see, we went on vacation and accidentally left them behind. Just like when the McAllister family forgot 8-year old Kevin (remember Macaulay Culkin?) when they flew to France for Christmas, it was an honest mistake. We were in a rush. I told Madan to put them in the mud room. He left them on the couch. We got to the airport and took off, never realizing we left some very important, um, family members behind. We didn't know until bedtime at Hilton Head. Then, just like when the burglars tried to rob the McAllister home, all holy hell broke loose.

Madan, bedtime!

Okay! I need to get lamby and blanket.

They're in Dad's backpack.

[Agitated.] Mom, I looked. They're not there.

[Disbelief.] Check again. They're there. I'm sure Dad stuffed them in there on our way out (through the laundry room.)

[A wave of horror crossed Mike's face.] They weren't in the mud room. They're not in my bag, he confessed.

[A wave of horror crossed my face. OMFG, I thought, the kid's going to have a nervous breakdown and/or his head is going to explode.

[Mike and I stared at each other like two dumbasses, mouths gaping open. It was 9pm.] "WHAT THE HELL are we going to do?" I shrieked

Madan was now staring at us, his eyes welled up with tears. His bottom lip quivered. "I LEFT THEM ON THE COUCH," he sobbed, "I MISS THEM SOOOOO MUCH." The floodgates opened.

Madan hadn't been without his friends one single day or night of his whole entire life. And now, we were making him kick his animal addiction without any counseling. If you ask me, crackheads going cold turkey have it easier. I had to act fast before he ran off screaming.

Don't panic, I said to Madan (really talking to myself), you can do this. You are almost six years old. They're probably enjoying being at our home without any supervision. I bet they're having a blast! I said.

Madan looked at me like I was insane. I was because I forgot that he was turning six, not two. He knew stuffed animals weren't alive and couldn't party. Somehow, I convinced him that we would hit the store after breakfast the next morning so he could pick out a new blanket and a new friend. He seemed okay with that. Kaila offered him one of her stuffed frogs for the night. He declined and went to bed. The next day, he woke up in a good mood. We got to the store and I'm afraid the brothers lamby and blanket are history. I couldn't belive how quickly he got over his first loves. I just hope what happened is not symptomatic of Madan's future relationships. If so, the kid's going to leave a path of angry jilted lovers.