What we have here is a failure to communicate.

It started to rain. I asked Mike to check the windows since I had opened every single one. Then, it really started to pour. Buckets. Because I'm a nag, I asked Mike again if he checked the windows.

Yup.

I went back to cooking dinner. Suddenly, I had a revelation -- while sauteing the spinach no child would eat. I knew every single window was still open. Spooooooooooky.

Kaila, ask Dad if he thinks your room is soaking wet.

She obliged. Mike got up and slowly walked upstairs. I did a quick runner's stretch, elbowed him out of the way and sprinted to her room. Sure enough, our little girl was now the proud owner of a swimming pool.

Of course, while Mike soaked up the wetness with towels, I posted this incident on my FB page. And, the response was right on. "You need to spell it out for us." (Written by a man.) "You only told him to check, not close, the windows." "You need to talk to him like a two year old." But, then I saw this video. And, it hit me. He doesn't understand a single friggin' word I say. This is what I sound like all day long.



No wonder no requests are properly honored. All these years I thought he had selective hearing. Alas, no! I'm just not making any flippin' sense.

In case you're interested, here's what the babbling baby is saying. Of course, her father does not understand.

And then, Suzie said I couldn't, like, go with them to the mall.

And then, I says, I go, um, I'm so not going to be your friend any more.

And then, Susie said, well I don't want to be your friend either. And, your lasagna sucks.

And then, I says, I go, well Suzie, you are Miss Buttahface 2009.

And then, Susie said, OMFG! You are, like, such a total raging bitch.

And then, I says, I go, hey Suzie, go f ... hey why is that beeyach in the front seat laughing at me, Daddy? Slap her upside the head!

A SHOUT OUT: Thanks to my cuz Shannel for sharing this awesome video.