I'd also like to say, I wasn't going to blog on a Friday night, but my friend (and new boss) Amy demanded it. And, I don't want to disappoint The Godfather. That's how you get whacked.
So, without further ado...
I just paged through this week's People. Ah yes. We had fat Valerie. Then, more recently, fat Kirstie. Next up, fat Teenage Witch. Summer must be approaching. People's battle of the bulge cover stories have begun.
Someone, anyone, stop the insanity, please.
I am sick of celebrity pudge. You're famous and now you've got a muffin top? Oh, poor baby. You're ashamed of your post-prego pics? You're angry at how you let yourself go?
Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Seriously.
You've got your yoga master, kickboxing instructor and nutritionist on speed dial. You've got a nanny. You've got a cook. You've got a driver. You've got money. You've got all the resources to be healthy. Excuse me if I don't feel for you. As a mother of two, who gained plenty of pregnancy weight and only had access to a hill and a stroller, I have 100% absolutely, positively no compassion for you whatsoever.
People writes, "When Kirstie Alley stepped on the scale for the first time in 15 months, it wasn't pretty. "I started screaming," recalls Alley, sipping homemade fruit-infused water in her Hollywood kitchen."
Um, no shit Kirstie. You were eating BUTTER. Popcorn with butter. Toast with butter. Pasta with butter. Butter with butter. You probably ate butter soup.
Gaining weight and losing it is not a news story. Staying healthy is. Holding yourself back and exercising restraint is the hard choice. Let's celebrate the celebs who take care of themselves, make solid choices and never lick a friggin' ice cream cone. (Or, if they do, they've mastered math and the art of exercise vs caloric intake.) Now, that is a "man-bites-dog" cover story.
Kirstie. Oprah. Melissa Hart. Kathy Ireland. The rest of you wistful, wishing-back-their-bikini-body celebs. Just do it and shut it.
4 comments:
ok ... so this comment may be merlot-induced, but ... it is what it is.
I too, am tired and weary of hearing about celebrity weight issues.
I have never had a weight problem. I've gained it... and I've lost it.
With my first pregnancy, I gained 80+ lbs. My second, about 60 and my third, over 80. I have a picture of my feet ... sausage toes and all ... on the scale reading over 200 lbs.
It wasn't pretty and it wasn't easy, but the scale no longer reads over 200 lbs.
You work at the things that you want. I don't think that celebrities (as you said, with their paid helpers on speed dial) know how to work for what they want.
TOO much whining ...too much instant gratification.
BUT - on the other side of the coin, I can somehow ... maybe ... KINDA ... see where the fat celebrity media attention could encourage and motivate and support "real people" who have struggles with weight to get out there and do something about themselves.
BUT (and here's where the merlot starts rambling on and on and on and on) if we're going to talk about providing people (real people) with a role model and encouragement, my best bet is the Biggest Loser.
Although ... in reality ... that's not reality at all either ...
Shoot ... maybe I should just revert back to my earlier choice to just say "Like" on Facebook in response to your blog post.
wow-i have that kind of power?! :-)at least it's not another jon & kate cover!
All I can say is, "Hell yeah!" You hit the nail right on the head (and made it funny all the while). Thanks for the entertaining read.
Awesome: "Shoot ... maybe I should just revert back to my earlier choice to just say "Like" on Facebook in response to your blog post."
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