Going for a Drive 2
Photo by Rach ♥
I enjoy reading odd stuff. So, when Reuters posted an article about Honda's new dog-friendly car, I bit. Evidently, the Japanese automaker thinks our four-legged friends need a plush bed, built-in water bowl, a fan and other amenities to make trips more enjoyable. More fun than riding on your owner's lap, running around untethered in the back seat or hanging your head out the window as your master rounds corners too fast? I doth protest. Problem is, Rover's digs are on the cargo floor behind the second-row seat. That sounds very trunk-ish to me. And, a trunk is where you stash dead people. But, I'll let the dogs sniff it out and decide if they like it or if it's whizz-worthy.
It's touching that the folks at Honda care about man's best friend and believe that dog lovers and their money can easily be parted. I just wish they'd put the same amount of thought and ingenuity into designing cars for situations like mine. I'll call it DRAMA: Driving 'Round A Messy Auto. My car is a garbage truck. A toilet. A kitchen. A boxing ring. A juice bar. A movie theater. A karaoke party. A cataclysmic moving violation. Keeping that in mind, here is the amenity wish-list I have for Honda et. al.
- Sink, shower, toilet -- or maybe a shoilet
- Refrigerator/freezer
- Trash can/recycling bin
- Robotic arm to pick up all the shit the kids drop when I'm doing 65mph
- Button that triggers a woman's voice that screams, "Shut up! I'm driving! Do you want me to get into an accident?"
- Automatic sliding glass between front and back seats - bullet-proof?
- Vacuum
- Tray tables
- Vending machine
- Oversized hand that will smack the kids if they get too ornery
- Button that triggers a woman's voice that screams, "NO!"
- Map that shows if we are there yet
- Bactine and band-aid dispenser
- Toy chest
- Another robotic arm to pick up my cell phone every time it falls into the crevice between the driver's seat and center console
- Built-in babysitter so I can run errands and leave the kids in the car; added bonus: (s)he can text my friends while I'm driving so I don't wreck
- Make-up drawer and an outlet for my flat iron
- ATM
- Cooler
That's a load of stuff. Maybe it's a retrofitted Semi, I'm after. Or, a Winnebago.
3 comments:
I would never leave my car if it had all this stuff. Just add a bed for me.
Makes me wonder how my family ever made the drive to Florida in our station wagon. Although, back then we were laying in the way-back seat on top of the luggage. Or facing backwards in the way-back bench seat....those were the best.
Can you add to the list, something that can automatically scrape off the stickers from the kids' windows?
Oh, and an air freshener. The ones you get at Wally World just don't cut it. I'd like one of those auto-puff things installed to rid my car of the post-lacrosse practice odor and the random farting from the middle section of seats.
Not that I speak from experience, but sound proofing that bullet proof glass seems like it should be on the dream car list too.
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