Analyze this.

On Thursday night, Mike took me out for a date. It was the two of us plus 328 other people who showed up at Tri-c to hear a strategist from Pelagis Capital and a well-known economist from The Hartford. I know. Incredibly sexy. I begged Mike to take his girlfriend. He wasn't having it. "You need to learn about this stuff. It's important."

Not fair. On Wednesday, I took Mike out for a date and we went to Rick's. If you ask me, I know how to show me a better time. But, I tried to keep an open mind. That ended when the first speaker started talking about the Baltic Dry Index. WTF? I mouthed to Mike. He started laughing. Evidently BDI has something to do with freighters and cargo being used as economic indicators. I frantically searched for a knitting needle so I could poke my eyes out.

No dice. 600 charts later -- all of which looked like lines on a heart rate monitor -- I started doodling on the back of anything I could find in my purse. I even considered drawing on my purse. It was a Beijo bag which I believe can double as a coloring book. You just use Soft Scrub to clean the mess. Then, my mind started wandering. I was staring at a sea of seated-backs-of-heads. I wondered why older men didn't just shave their heads when their bald spots started taking over. I wondered why all older women had the same frosted, short-length perms.

No way can I sit through this without nodding off, I thought. I pressed my nails into my palms. The next speaker was up. A dynamic woman named Quincy Krosby. Probably one of the smartest women I've ever heard. Jaw-dropping smart. So smart it made me want to rip up my diploma and slap myself.

So what did I learn? Lots of stuff. But, the most basic point was this: Look for bad news getting less bad. That's when you'll know things are getting better.

Now, that is something even I can understand.