April Fool's Day could be the best day of the year. It's the only time you get to make bold-face lies to everyone you love and then laugh in their face. Not a little, teeny tiny oops, tee-hee laugh. We're talking a good hearty belly guffaw. Then, as long as you say "April Fools!" soon after, you're pardoned.
Some of my favorites pranks*:
To the preschool Moms: "There's no preschool today. The power is out. APRIL FOOLS!" (For some reason, they were really pissed.)
To my neighbors who are on vacation, whose house we are watching: "Your front door is broken and the fire alarm is going off. How's Naples?" 8 hours later... "Oh, never mind. APRIL FOOLS!"
To Kaila: "You're not really my daughter. Your Daddy hooked up with an Amish chick for awhile. APRIL FOOLS!
To a friend: "Yes! Those jeans DO make your ass look big. HUGE! Want some fries with that shake, honey? APRIL FOOLS! Okay, not that huge. Really. Hey, where are you going? What did I say now?"
To Madan: "There's been another peanut butter recall. You won't be able to have lunch for another month. Hope you like spam. APRIL FOOLS!"
To my parents: "I decided to be a good Hindu and go to temple every weekend. APRIL FOOLS!"
To the cop: "I was speeding because I have to get the drugs to my dealer before noon. APRIL FOOLS!" The body cavity search was not so April Fools. I won't ever try that one again.
To Giant Eagle: "Your produce SUCKS!" Oh wait. I'm not kidding on that one.
To Mike: "I slept with the garbage man! APRIL FOOLS! Seriously. APRIL FOOLS! Okay, APRIL FOOLS!"
I guess there are times you can take a joke too far.
*For the most part, these are all lies.
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