If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

According to my Mom, it's still not a duck.

I’m on spring break, spending 10 days with my parents. I know what you’re thinking. But, shhhh! Don't say it! My parents read this blog. (For some reason, they haven’t become followers, though.) The beauty of this vacation is that it’s precisely that – a vacation. I generally don’t know where the kids are during the day. And, I generally don’t know what they’re eating. Nani takes care of that. Being an Indian grandmother, she’s got the feeding thing down. Anyone who steps foot in this house will never go hungry again. It doesn’t matter who you are, when you last ate or if you even have a mouth. You will eat and you will like it. Even if you don’t like it, you will eat and you will like it. Give my Mom one day with Nicole Richie and she’d have her fatter than fat Oprah.

Last night, my Mom cooked an awesome Indian meal. She served it up with an accompaniment called raita (pronounced ryetah). In my 38 years of existence, I have not liked yogurt. So, I passed on the white cucumber concoction. Big mistake. The food war begins: Mommy vs Nani.

Nani: Try some raita.
Me: No. I don’t like yogurt.
Nani: It’s not yogurt. It’s sour cream.
Me: Mom, I’m not three. You can’t lie to me. I know it’s yogurt. Look at it. It is yogurt!
Nani: It’s GREEK yogurt. So, it’s not really yogurt.
Me: Still yogurt.
Nani: If you tried it, you would like it.
Me: I HAVE tried it. That’s how I know I DON’T like it!
Nani: It’s good for you. So healthy. Try one spoon!
Me: The more you tell me to try it, the more I will refuse.
Nani: You’re stupid. Everyone loves raita.

Evidently, if it’s raita. I’m wrong.

A quick aside: My parents get Indian TV programming via their satellite dish. (Naomi , I know you’re saying, who in their right mind pays for Indian TV?) Last night, I was so incredibly fortunate to witness the Indian version of Dancing with the Stars. The dancers performed their numbers either blindfolded or tied together. Talk about entertainment! But, it left me asking, where do they go from here? Blindfolded, tied together and feeding each other sweets? Balancing on a thali*? Dancing with jugs of binu pani** balanced on their heads while leading a cow? I can’t wait for the next show. I’m on the edge of my seat!

*A thali is a metal dish with raised edges. One of my cousins could balance on it. I don’t think it was very comfortable.
**Binu pani means wet water. Thank you, Anish.