Aqua "Dots"

This morning, I read the pool schedule wrong. I was about to do a running cannonball into the water when something stopped me. Ten cute, but very wrinkly, seniors were staring up at the mess in front of them. I had my sweet bathing ensemble and lab goggles on. Maybe they thought I was an alien? "Greetings!" I offered. They were still staring. "Um, when can I swim?" The polite instructor said that this was an aqua arthritis class which would be followed by water aerobics.

Shit.

"Why don't you join us?" she offered. I froze. I wasn't expecting that. Then, something weird happened. My mouth said, "Sure!" and my body jumped in. For the next 1 1/2 hours*, I side-stepped, jogged, shimmied, hula-hooped, can-canned, donkey-kicked, high-fived and twisted to the oldies -- with the oldies.

Dare I say, it was fun?

Dorothy, Sarah, Ethel and Mildred** didn't talk about kids or grandkids or bitch about anyone. (Maybe their husbands were dead?) Instead, they were incredibly silly. It was like hanging out with my kids, but without all the screaming and crap. It was a yuk a minute. I learned that one woman got an invite to her husband's memorial. Problem is, he's still alive. I learned that another woman was dog-sitting. It was the first time she'd had a heavy breather in her bed in years. At one point, two ladies decided to have a race. They sat on their noodles like bicycles and made motorcycle noises up and down the pool while paddling furiously. "C'mon, suckah! Let's go!" one taunted.

Man, I hope I'm not too sore tomorrow.

*I was the only one who had to leave the pool during class to go to the bathroom. I'm not sure what that means.
**Names have been changed to protect the innocent.