Dealing with offensive linemen

The PTA meeting at school had ended. As I walked from the building to the parking lot, I spied a group of children playing football on the playground. One wore a bright fall coat. Suddenly, the boy in the coat disappeared. I craned my neck to see where he went. Then, I spotted him. He was sitting on the ground, against a tree, picking grass, seemingly dejected.

My heart ached for him.

I surveyed the playground, debated what to do then instinct took over. I walked in.

"How are you?"

"Fine. Oh! Hi, Mom!"

"Why are you sitting alone under the tree?"

"Oh, I'm resting."

I knew better. After a few seconds, I coaxed the real reason out. Boys were being mean. But, I knew better. Boys can be mean, but there are two sides to every story. So, I listened. I empathized. I encouraged. Then, I sent my son back into the game and stood on the sidelines, watching to see what would happen, holding my breath until I thought I'd pass out.

The boys he was playing with didn't let him back in right away. He argued. Another boy lent some support. You can do it, I thought. I stood my ground hoping he would do the same. It seemed like an eternity that I remained there, frozen, fingers crossed. Madan's upper lip was trembling, his eyes were welling up, his voice grew louder, then, suddenly, he got back in the game, running with the boys as if nothing had happened. The bell rang and the kids bolted back into the building.

While that episode was promptly forgotten by them, it will remain forever etched in my mind.

It's not easy being a child. And, it's not easy being a parent watching your child deal with difficult situations. You want to shield them from everything uncomfortable. But, life isn't a smooth ride and the sooner a child learns to deal with its twists, turns and bumps, the better off that kid will be.

I talked to a Mom of another child in Madan's class and got some inside information on the football game. Armed with some knowledge, I approached Madan for a heart-to-heart before bedtime.

At recess, Madan had accused a boy of making unfair teams. The second-grader responded by saying, "So what?" A seemingly innocuous exchange, but for a sensitive seven-year old, it was akin to saying he didn't matter. The teams weren't unfair. The second-grader's response was. I used this exchange as a teachable moment.

"Madan, how would you feel if you were the best football player in the league and got traded to a really bad team like the Lions?" (Sorry, Lions.)

"Horrible."

"Right. You might not have deserved to be put on a bad team, but it happens. Would you argue that it was unfair or accept the situation and then play your heart out for your teammates and try to win?

"I'd play my best."

"Exactly. So, even if you think your team has the disadvantage, you play your best. Think of it as a challenge. And, instead of getting angry, use your energy to win."

After the pep talk, we role played. I coached him, hoping he'd remember my advice on how to handle sassy retorts maturely and keep his head in the game.

Tomorrow will tell if we scored a touchdown or if I fumbled.