May the farce be with you.

I signed up to be a reader for Kaila's preschool class. I had the perfect book picked out, the perfect outfit (not too cougar, not too librarian, just right) and was all set. But, then, I had an idea. Madan had become a voracious reader. When we first moved here, we brought him to the local library to read to a dog -- part of their Ruff Readers series. The poor pooch, Marley, suffered through 40 or so pages of The Cat in the Hat and didn't bark once, fall asleep or sniff any crotches. Given that experience, I suspected Madan could read to preschoolers with the same successful outcome. So, Madan read to Kaila's class yesterday. And, unlike Marley, I almost wet the carpet watching him in action.

"This is Madan. He is my brother." Kaila said in her best robot voice before running to sit down, leaving her brother to fend for himself against the gathering of preschoolers. They were now staring at him like he was Sponge Bob or another one of Nickelodeon's crackhead cartoon characters. No matter. Madan's just like his mama. He loves attention -- good or bad.

"Hi class. I have two books that I would like to read to you today. The first one is called Are You My Mother and the second is There's No Place Like Space. I will now begin."

The teachers and I exchanged glances as if to say, "Shit. This kid means business."

The kids sat through the first reading just fine. But evidently space is a huge conversational topic for preschoolers. Madan almost lost control of the class over Pluto.

"Is Pluto a planet?" asked a little boy.

"Welllll," Madan puffed up his chest and doing his best Carl Sagan said, "It is no longer a planet. It is a dwarf. It is also very cold and far away. There are icicles on the planet. It's not even in our solar system."

The storytime moderator chimed in, correcting the misinformation being levied on the circle. "You're right that it's far away, but it's still in our solar system."

"YEAH! I bet it would take at least 15 minutes to get there!" piped the youngster.

"Welll," Madan said rubbing his chin, "I think it's farther than that." He started tapping his temple as if to knock the information out. "It would take about four hours to get there. And, you can't go by car."

"YEAH! You need a rocket ship!" another kid said.

"Do you need FIRE for a rocket?" asked another.

"Why, yes. Yes. Of course. You do need fire," Madan replied.

At this point, Madan dropped one of the books he was holding. Kaila scurried to pick it up and the two got into a fight over who should hold it. The storytime moderator broke up the scuffle. Madan recomposed himself.

"Are there any more questions?" Madan asked scanning the circle.

"Can you walk in space?" asked another child.

"Welll, yes. You can. But, you need a space suit. Otherwise..." Madan said thinking, looking up at the ceiling.

I braced myself. I knew what was coming.

"Otherwise, you would probably DIE. Yeah. You would definitely DIE. It would be bad. Dying is so bad." Madan shared, shaking his head as if he knew.

I smacked myself in the head and quickly glanced at the teachers. They were rolling with it, nodding their heads in agreement. Luckily, a conversation about death was averted by a lively discussion about Saturn. If they ever remake Spaceballs, Madan's first in line for the casting call.