Oh, boy.

I took the Doobies to the Detroit Science Center today. Talk about an awesome place. We had a blast handling all the hands-on exhibits and ending our visit with a cool tour through the solar system via their planetarium. After four hours of education, though, tummies were a-rumblin' and the Doobies mouths were a-grumblin' so I bought some snacks and told them they could eat the junk in the car while we drove home.

We hit the parking garage. I got them buckled in. I tossed their Cheetos back and started making my way out of cement structure. I knew what was coming.

"Um, Mom?"

"Yeah, Madan."

"Can you open my Cheetos?"

"No." I meant it, too. My kid's six. How he can't open a bag is beyond me. He can button shirts. He can brush his teeth. He can even do a wicked luge run down our steps. But, open a bag of chips? No way in hell. Suddenly his pincer grasp goes awry and he cries for help. Kaila offered to come to his rescue but I put the kabbash on it. "Madan. The only way you'll ever be able to do this is if you try. If I keep opening bags for you, what are you going to do when you're at college and you want a snack?"

"Mom. I have to tell you something."

"What Madan?"

"I always do stuff for you."

"Really? Name the voodoo that you do."

"Lots of stuff. Like I make my bed. I brush my teeth. I clean my toys up. I get you stuff. You never do anything for me. Ever. You really should do stuff for me."

I gave my darling son my best death-stare via rearview mirror. "I NEVER do anything for you? Madan, who took you to the Science Center today? Who gets you to school every day? Who got you a gift for Valentine's Day? Who bought you those flippin' Cheetos? I am the reason you are ALIVE and that you continue to exist! You now have three seconds to take back what you said or I will put you up for adoption."

Flashing me his best ha-ha-I-was-only-playin' Jack-O-Lantern grin, he handed me the Cheetos. I sighed and opened them. Suddenly, Kaila piped up.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, Kaila."

"I love you."

Got to love her. Just when you think she's been in another stratosphere wondering whether Webkinz could eat bagel bites, she increases her inheritance yet again. That little kiss-ass kicks ass. Oh, boy. Madan, you've got some puckering up to do!