Gap was then. Next is now.

UPDATE: To see what others are saying about Next, click here.

Now, y'all know I don't do product promotions in my blog. I don't do giveaways. In fact, I don't do much of anything except make fun of the fam. But, today I am making an exception. Having wrecked my wardrobe with endless purchases of solid color GAP t-shirts and jeans for the past five years, I've become desperate. I need new stuff. Cool clothes. Trendy threads. You see, after giving birth, I gave up on fashion. But now, it's time to reclaim my closet and send all my horrific sexually-ambiguous middle-age apparel packing. Talk about a wardrobe malfunction.

So, when presented with the opportunity to shop at a hip store in Beachwood Place I pounced like a botoxed cougar. I was given a $200 gift card to Next -- a trendy shop adjacent Nordstrom's on the upper level. I put on my most fashionable outfit, lots of make-up and went to work. I have to admit, Next is not a store I would typically venture into. A first glance yielded a much younger, more urban crowd -- not middle-aged mamas like me. But, looks are deceiving. During the hour I was in the store, people of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages walked in.

When I approached the storefront. The music was pumping. People were perusing. I wondered if I would find anything to work for my frame. Luckily, I was greeted by two wonderful sales associates -- Pawyica and Mikal -- who answered my every question and offered to assist me in any way possible. They made shopping fun. In fact, being in Next reminded me more of a party and less of a shopping trip. People were joking around, grooving to the music. I dug the vibe and was electrified by the place's energy. Even though it was 8pm, the store was bright, happening and filled with chatter instead of bored sales reps stalking you, asking if you need help every 10 seconds. I liked the breathing room.

I dove into a rack. At my age, you have to know your limits. So, I passed on the flashy miniskirts, the shiny skin-tight leggings, the beaded jackets and turned towards the tunics, the not-so fitted tops and the more realistic bottoms. Within minutes, my arms were filled with fashion -- looks from Ark and Co., 5th Culture, Monoreno and tons of other collections I desperately needed an introduction to. That's when Mikal, came to my rescue. He scooped the apparel from my arms and led me to the fitting room. Along the way, he suggested a pair of $200 Nudie jeans I would never have given a second glance. What a smartie pants this guy was.

He shared that Nudies are made from organic denim and like a fine wine, get better with age. They're intended to become your second skin, hugging all your mountains and molehills to give you a perfect, incredibly comfortable fit. Even better, you're not supposed to wash them very often so they truly conform to your shape. I can get behind that, I thought. Now, I just had to squeeze my behind in them which proved to be a little trickier than I had hoped. But, my perseverance coupled with a few squat jumps and Pawyica's and Mikal's convincing, paid off.

I also tried on a ton of incredibly cute tops. Some I can pair with jackets and feel hip when helping out in Madan's school, others I can don for date nights when I need to look more mother f'in MILTF and less prissy PTA. The price points at Next were a little higher than I'm used to paying, but when you frequent the GAP outlet for five years, you need to adjust your expectations accordingly. And, by accordingly, I mean up, of course.

I left the store with a smile on my face, eager for an occasion to strut my new stuff. I've still got a long way to go before all my hangers are replaced with hipper stuff, but I've decided once and for all: it's time to give GAP the boot and move on to the Next thang. It's worth it.

.
Awesome Next associates Pawyica and Mikal.


Me & new BFF Mikal, mugging for the camera.


Mikal coaxes the cougar out of me.
That's me flashing my new 5th Culture top and Nudie jeans.


Shopping Epilogue
I promise this won't turn into a Grammy acceptance speech, but I must thank a few people for this opportunity. I will not thank God, though. If there was a God, I would not have wonky teeth. I would look like Kim Kardashian.

Thank you to OH Mommy for noticing how unfashionable I looked last time we bumped into each other in Heinen's and recommending me for Next's generous clothing shopping spree. (Coincidence? I think not!) Next time I see you I will be wearing something much hotter as I get my chicken fingers from the frozen aisle.

Thank you to Cleveland Foodie for organizing the affair and contacting Cleveland bloggers. What a nice gesture!

And, a special thank you to Robert Rosenthal, Next owner, and Ahryn, Next buyer, for their incredible generosity! The gift card was sincerely appreciated, most needed and I will spread the word to all my Cleveland mamas about the store. When I'm in town next, I will definitely visit Next.



But, this night could not have happened without Mike. If it weren't for him, my shopping trip would have been much less productive. So thank you to my husband, my rock, who unwittingly asked me to sell his office furniture on Craig's List, then unknowingly let me pocket the cash to cover my Next shopping overages and will still love me even after reading this post.