Sometimes good things go bad. Fruit. Vegetables. Learning. I wrote yesterday about how Madan mastered "Don't Stop Believin'"courtesy of some friends on the big yellow bus. And, just like the song, his learning goes on and on and on and on...
A few days ago, the Doobies and I were enjoying lunch at the Birmingham Cosi, an awesome sandwich chain. I was savoring a tandoori chicken flatbread sandwich coupled with an ice-cold Raspberry Snapple. Freakin' nirvana. The kids were inhaling some pizza. The conversation was about the homes we previewed that day, which ones we liked and how we could put a golf course in the basement of the one we would buy. (Right. Don't stop believin', Madan.)
Suddenly, Madan was looking down at his fingers. I wasn't paying much attention.
"Hey, Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"What does it mean when you put your thumbs up?"
"Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy, Fonzie. Nothing, keep eating."
The kids finished and I started clearing the table. I glanced up just in time to see Madan positioning Kaila's fingers.
"Oh, wait. I was wrong. It's not your thumb. Do this with that finger."
"Like this?"
"Yeah, that's it."
I turned around from the trashcan just in time to witness the Doobies flip the entire population of Cosi the flippin' bird. Oh, fuuuuuuuuuck.
I threw away everything in my hands, qualified for the 2012 Olympics' 110m women's hurdles and grabbed at the four happy little fists which were now telling our new neighbors to go fuck themselves.
"OMG! DOOBIES!!! What are you doing?!?!"
"I learned this on the bus! One of the kids showed me how to do it. He said I should do it."
(Trying not to laugh.) "Wow. Okay. But, you can't do that. It's really bad!"
"Why? It's just a finger. What does this mean?" (He was now flipping me the bird.)
I prayed for the fire alarm to go off. Where's an arsonist when you need one? I tucked his little fingers back into a ball and tried to shove them into his pocket.
"Well, it's a way for one adult to tell another adult to go do something. But, that something is not nice. Please don't do it again! If you do that at school, you will get kicked out. Forever. And, you'll never be allowed to ride a bus for the rest of your life."
"Yeah, but what does it mean?"
"Something bad. Save it for when you're older, please. Hey, who wants dessert?"
"Sure, Mom!"
Madan's digits were now safely wrapped around a cookie. Never underestimate the power of sugar.
4 comments:
Once again, you are responsible for me spewing my coffee out as I laugh hysterically.
You - my dear - should really go on a tour ... take this comedy on the road!
Seriously. You neeeeeed to take this on tour. All of it. The entire blog, yo
Hysterical.
Shucks, y'all are just so sweet! Now, all I need is a big tour bus tricked out with a kitchen, Raspberry Snapple and Wii fit.
Haha! I recently had a situation where some kid taught my kid the 'f-word'. The 7 yr old was ok with my explanation & promised to never use the word. But the 5 yr old was incredibly enamored of the word. My solution involved a 3 min 'say the word as much as you want & then never say it EVER again'.
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