"WHEN IS THE PLUGGER GUY GONNA BE HERE?!?!?!?"
Poor, Doobie. Clearly, Kaila misunderstood what "getting cable" entailed. We were stuck in Mike's Detroit Rock City bachelor crib, waiting for "Reggie" to show up. I wish I had a three hour window for everywhere I needed to be. I'd never be late.
This is what hell must be like. No CATV. No Internet. Two kids. Rationed toys. Nothing to do in a 1 BR apartment painted entirely white, just like an asylum. I glanced at the kitchen drawers hopefully and debated getting a fork so I could poke my eyes out.
Instead, I did laundry. I cleaned counters. I vacuumed. I vacuumed again. I washed dishes. I dried dishes. I played soccer using a marble. I played tackle football using a marble. I lost my marbles. I rearranged Mike's sock drawer. I rearranged it back. I trimmed 60 fingernails. When I ran out of digits, I taught Madan how to read at a 4th grade level. No shit. As far as good parenting goes, I had earned my stripes.
I mentally rewrote my wedding vows:
For richer, for poorer.
In sickness and in health.
In good times and in bad.
Wait for cable? You can kiss my sweet ass goodbye.
Suddenly, the buzzer interrupted my boredom. I leapt off the couch, shoved the Doobies out of the way and hit the intercom.
"Who is it?" (Who the hell was I kidding? I knew one person in Detroit and he shared keys to the apartment.) I buzzed like I never buzzed before.
"The Plugger Guy is here!" (Reggie stood in the doorway and shot Kaila a confused look. I pretended she was slow and scooted her towards a box of crayons.)
One more excruciating hour later, we had cable. We had our life back. We put the forks back in the drawer.
4 comments:
"Pretended like she was slow" ... wait ... I thought Kaila regularly rode the short bus?
Shhhh! I taught Madan to read, remember? I don't want him to tell her the truth. ;}
Isn't it amazing how you can pass the time when you have to? I dread situations like this when the kids are in tow. Glad he finally arrived and all ended well. It's even worse when they don't show up, reschedule you, and forget to tell you.
I laughed about the 3 hours block of time. Too funny and true!
I'm trying the "3-hour window" with everything -- parties, school, doctor's appointments. If it works for the cable guy, it should work for me, too! ;}
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